2005-05-24

Had to share it

LIGHTSABRE SCRAP HORROR

Two people have been left with severe burns after their home-made Star Wars light sabre exploded and showered them in petrol.

Mark Webb and Shelley Mandiville are thought to have filled a fluorescent tube with fuel to imitate the screen weapon.

But their clothing caught fire during the mock fight in woodland near Hemel Hempstead, Hertfordshire, leaving Mr Webb with 40% burns.

Police said both he and Ms Mandiville, 17, were in a critical condition in hospital in Chelmsford, Essex.

A spokesman said fire crews called to the woodland found the pair on the ground.
Police think they had been filming themselves at the time.

The latest Star Wars film, Revenge of the Sith, opened in Britain and the United States last week.

It broke the record for a single day's profits in North America, raking in a massive £27.5m.

2005-05-19

Flick Review

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
Directed by George Lucas

Saw the flick twice already, once at the private advanced screening at 19:00, and again at 00:05 and I must say I was impressed. After annoying us with fart and poopy jokes in Phantom Menace, not to mention the abomination that is Jar Jar Binks, and only doing slightly better with Attack of the Clones, George Lucas has finally given us what we wanted: a Star Wars Movie worthy of the name.

Star Wars geeks throughout the globe rejoice! This is the flick you've been waiting for!

Hayden Christiansen actually has to do some A-C-T-I-N-G in this flick, and apart from a few moments he does all right, head and shoulders above his performance in Clones to be honest. And Ian McdDirmand finally gets a chance to show off his abilities as a classically trained actor and has the biggest part he's had in any of the Star Wars films. His performance blows everyone else's out of the water. Ewan MacGreggor has got his Obi-wan down pat in this, his strongest performance in the Prequels. The weakest performance, surprisingly enough comes from Natalie Portman who basically mails it in for this one, but no matter, it's not like we'll be seeing her again in the new TV series in 2007 since they kill her off at the end.

Arms, hands, legs, and heads fly off at a number greater than any other Star Wars flick as Jedi, Sith, and clones go at it with incredible abandon that makes one wish there had been more of this in the first two movies, but what ever, the circle, as they say is now complete.

Go see it again and again and don't listen to McBain when he tells you it's crap.

Oh yeah, and I think I heard on the news that the US mint is putting George's face on the million dollar bill...

2005-05-18

Some things

Here are some things...

What's the deal with those paper toilet seat covers you find in public washrooms?

Now there's an exercise in futility!

If there exists a virus that is virulent enough to stay alive in the OPEN AIR on a PLASTIC toilet seat for an extended period of time, no little scrap of crepe paper is going to thwart it if it feels like infecting you.

And a quick note to the lead singer of U2.

Shut the fuck up and take your drunken Irish ass back to your own country.

You want to tell people how they should vote, then try telling the folks back in Ireland before you come to Canada and start shooting your self righteous, socialist mouth off.

You are a celebrity, nothing more.

Nobody except downtown Toronto cares what you think about a political system you know nothing about!

I'm at work

Less than eight hours left until the special, free Calgary Fan Force premere of Revenge of the Sith!

I’m so excited I think my heart is going to explode!

Or maybe it’s the ten cans of Red Bull I drank before lunch…

2005-05-06

Retraction

Chilled Monkey Brainz apologizes for any Anarchy and confusion that may have resulted from the prediction of the world ending on 05/05/05 at 05:05:05 am Mountain Standard time that was made on this Blog Site several months ago.

Clearly the world is still here.

Researchers at our sister agency, the Chilled Monkey Brainz Institute of Doom, have informed us that in their initial calculations they failed to carry the two, which sent their prediction awry by thirteen months.

So never fear, the world will end on 06/06/06 at 06:06:06 am Mountain Standard Time.
Once again Chilled Monkey Brainz apologizes for any inconvenience this erroneous prediction may have caused.

2005-05-02

Shite Jaeger Likes

-Tina Turner in her chainmail bustier/dress/armour from Thunderdome. Mmmm, post-apocalyptic push-up bra.

-Star Wars, nothin' but Star Wars, nothin' but Star Wars, alla the time! Bill Murray sang this song, back when SNL was funny...

-Weekends, except for Sunday night when that nasty "Oh shit I gotta be at work in twelve hours" feeling comes over me.

-The hour or so I can keep my home office tidy before The Grrl messes it up again.

-Words like alurring, and feh, and brainmeats.


-The phrase: "Stomp a mudhole in yer behind!"

-Lastly and most importantly, MONEY, MONEY, MONEY, for TOYS, TOYS, TOYS!

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